Unlike many on this earth, I don’t often wonder about the existence of a God. I pretty much made up my mind years ago, and just haven’t felt the need to revisit the topic. I did have a girlfriend once who was a rabid Christian, but when I asked her to explain why God allowed widespread poverty and injustice, her reply was “they must be worshipping the wrong God…”
It was a shame her local church’s mantra wasn’t broad enough to adequately cover such inquisitions, but that she didn’t even realise I was taking the piss meant our relationship was doomed. Which was a shame really because she was also a bit of a nympho – another source of confusion for an 18 year old lad, just trying to find his way in the world.
So whether or not there is a God, here’s proof that he/she has lost that spark, or at the very least, needs to get to one of those “self-help” seminars pronto:
- Waco
- “The Bieb”
- Self help seminars
- The Jim Beam “speed dating” ads
- Famine, war, disaster and disease so common we don’t even hear about it anymore
- “Creative” (made up or misspelled) modern kids names like “Shayden”, “Rheeahna” and “Jarrodayen”
- Facebook groups like “On a scale of 1-10, how immature are you? 69”, “When i’m walking down the street, I pretend i’m in a music video” and “Mum I feel sick. You’re going to school. F*ck.”
- Back sliders
- The Kardashians
- Charlaine Harris and Stephenie Meyer
- Nickelback
- Rat tail hair-do’s
- Diesel fumes
- Farmer Wants a Wife
- Websites that claim proof that God exists
There’s more, I just can’t be fagged listing them all. Besides, I’m falling behind in my 10 part self-help course “Just get over yourself”. Apparently negative thoughts are strangling my creativity…
I see, I supopse that would have to be the case.