My favourite malapropisms

If you hadn’t guessed by now, I love malapropisms. It’s not a superiority complex or anything – we’ve all mangled the English language in various ways – they just tend to spice up a conversation with that special blend of humour and creativity. I blame the parents. And alcohol.

Here’s some of my faves, some from movies, some from the media, and some from actual conversations:

  • Pontificating at the barbie: “Let me be pacific”
  • On what to wear to an interview: “I want to look impotent”
  • On being specific: “For all intensive purposes”
  • On seeing the light: “It was a life defying experience”
  • On post-modernisation: “He’s such a pre-Madonna”
  • On losing the big game “Its beyond my apprehension”
  • On a bad date: “He had his bloody long testicles all over me”
  • A missing journalist: “We believe he’s being held hostile”
  • On quoting a friend: “Don’t contribute that comment to me!”

and the classic line that inspired this site:

  • On victimisation: “I’m just an escape goat”

Lastly, although not a malapropism as such, special mention goes to George W Bush, for his comment on the state of education in the US: “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”

The lesson is, keep it simple stupid.

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