If you hadn’t guessed by now, I love malapropisms. It’s not a superiority complex or anything – we’ve all mangled the English language in various ways – they just tend to spice up a conversation with that special blend of humour and creativity. I blame the parents. And alcohol.
Here’s some of my faves, some from movies, some from the media, and some from actual conversations:
- Pontificating at the barbie: “Let me be pacific”
- On what to wear to an interview: “I want to look impotent”
- On being specific: “For all intensive purposes”
- On seeing the light: “It was a life defying experience”
- On post-modernisation: “He’s such a pre-Madonna”
- On losing the big game “Its beyond my apprehension”
- On a bad date: “He had his bloody long testicles all over me”
- A missing journalist: “We believe he’s being held hostile”
- On quoting a friend: “Don’t contribute that comment to me!”
and the classic line that inspired this site:
- On victimisation: “I’m just an escape goat”
Lastly, although not a malapropism as such, special mention goes to George W Bush, for his comment on the state of education in the US: “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
The lesson is, keep it simple stupid.